scruta

[Ferret is having drinks with friends in a super-chic bar, full of Chinese antiques. A woman plays the erhu behind them, weaving her ethereal tunes together with a pumping house beat. Beatnik, Witch, and Ferret are talking.]

Beatnik

Man, I think you’re ready. You’re really ready man.

Ferret

What’s that?

Beatnik

To know about the real shit in China, man. It really all comes down to three things：

天下乌鸦一般黑

天下没有免费午餐

天下没有不散的筵席

Witch

Haha, yeah.

Ferret

Wait. What was that? I got something about a free lunch.

Witch

No, that’s the second one.

Ferret

There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

Witch

Yeah, but the first one is about 乌鸦 (wūyā). A crow, you know?

Ferret

So there are only black crows?

Beatnik

Yeah, like all crows are black, man. Shit is just shit everywhere. Evil people are everywhere. You know, man?

Ferret

I get it. A black crow is a black crow no matter how you look at it.

Witch

Yeah.

Ferret

Yeah, and what’s the last one? Can you write it for me?

Witch

[speaking as she writes the characters in his notebook]

天下没有不散的筵席.

Ferret

[pointing to the end of the phrase written in his book]

Those last two…

Witch

筵席 (yánxí), it’s like a big dinner.

Ferret

Like a feast?

Beatnik

Yeah, man. It’s like – it’s like you can’t just have feast that never ends, man. It’s got to end sometime. Now you know about China, man. That’s what it is: All the crows are black; there’s no such thing as a free lunch-

Ferret

And the feast always comes to an end.