[Li and Zhou continue to try and indoctrinate Roy.]
Li
So, have we cleared up the issue on our official relationship with America?
Roy
Our friends. But-
Li
But?
Roy
Our friends, who are still rooted in the misguided politics of Western imperialism, who we court so we can gain their secrets and build China into the great world power it once was.
Li
Very good. He’s doing well, Zhou. Don’t you think?
Zhou
Very well. I need to go to the bathroom.
Roy
Did you say bathroom?
Zhou
Yeah. Why?
Roy
Are you familiar with the Siu Feng Corporation’s employment of the newest revolution in water saving technologies for your home bathroom?
Zhou
Umm – Li, what the hell is this?
Li
I have no idea.
Zhou
Is this your idea of a joke?
Li
What? Do you think I fed him info about toilets?
[At the sound of the word “toilets,” Roy begins to transform.]
Li
Oh my god! What’s going on? Zhou, get the engineers!
[Zhou runs out of the office to get the engineers who have been housed next door. He comes back a minute later, heaving and short of breath.]
Zhou
Li! Those damned German sons of bitches! Li! They just laughed at me, and the one who speaks Chinese said something about shit, and that made them laugh even more. I yelled at them. But it didn’t help. Wait! What the hell?
Li
What?
Zhou
He’s turned into a toilet, Li.
Li
I know, Zhou. I know.
Zhou
Wow. Do we talk to it?
Roy
Gentlemen! I’m happy that you’ve shown an interest in learning more about the latest revolution for this year’s World Expo in Shanghai! Better city, better life! Why don’t you sit down and have a try?
Zhou
Well, actually –
Li
Don’t you dare, Zhou. I’m going to call up somebody, and get to the bottom of this. Until then, you can go shit in some other toilet.
Roy
But let me assure you! Those toilets are not as comfortable, nor as good for the environment –
Li
You can turn off now, Roy.
ENDNOTE:
The following is from Roy’s official website (be sure to check it out for the sweet pictures of toilets!) Unfortunately, the website is all in Chinese, and Roy’s English website isn’t functional as of the date of this post. As a result, I’ve translated the following tidbits from which I created this most recent episode of Li and Zhou. I’d also like to hand it to the Siu Feng Company’s PR guys. A robot who sells revolutionary new bathroom ceramics? You guys have got balls.
我国是水资æºé«˜åº¦è´«ä¹çš„国家之一。虽然我国的水资æºæ€»é‡å 世界第6ä½ï¼Œä¸ŽåŠ 拿大接近。但由于人å£ä¼—多，人å‡å æ°´é‡ä¸åˆ°ä¸–界平å‡æ°´å¹³çš„1/4，居世界第88ä½ï¼Œè€Œä¸”ä»…ä¸ºåŠ æ‹¿å¤§çš„2.3%。我国现有300多个城市é¢ä¸´ç¼ºæ°´å±æœºï¼Œé¥®æ°´å›°éš¾çš„人å£è¾¾7500万。北京更是严é‡ç¼ºæ°´çš„城市。早在国家大力推行“节能环ä¿â€å€¡å¯¼å…¨ç¤¾ä¼šâ€œèŠ‚约æ¯ä¸€æ»´æ°´â€ä¹‹åˆï¼›å…†å³°ä¼ä¸šå°±å·²ç»å¼€å§‹äº†äº§å“çš„æŠ€æœ¯ç ”å‘，展开了一场å«æµ´é¢†åŸŸçš„“节水é©å‘½â€ï¼Œä½¿ä¹ä¼Šæˆä¸ºç›®å‰å›½å†…唯一一家所有产å“å‡è¾¾åˆ°èŠ‚æ°´æ ‡å‡†çš„å«æµ´å“牌。用实实在在的行动充分å“应了国家 “构建节约型社会â€çš„å·å¬ï¼Œä½“现了一家ä¼ä¸šå¼ºçƒˆçš„社会责任感和历å²è´£ä»»æ„Ÿã€‚
Our country [China] is a country beset by great water shortages. Although our country’s total water supply is the world’s sixth largest (about the same as Canada), due our large population the supply of water per capita is not even a quarter of the world’s average, ranked number 88 in the world, and only 2.3% of Canada’s. Our country currently has over 300 cities facing a water shortage crisis, and poor drinking water effects upwards of 75 million people. Beijing is experiencing severe water shortages. Earlier, our country wholeheartedly implemented the “Save Energy, Protect the Environment” Program which caused the entire nation to begin to “save water one drop at a time.” The Siu Feng Corporation has already begun to develop a product technology and opened up the field for a “Water Saving Revolution” in bathroom equipment through the use of the ROY ceramic technology [ä¹ä¼Š], becoming at present the only bathroom ceramics brand to achieve the water saving standards. This concerted effort to answer answered the our nation’s call to “Establish Conservation Society” embodies our company’s intense sense of responsibility to society and history.
“ROY是è°ï¼Ÿâ€
é‡å¤§è§£å¯†æ˜¯çš„，他是明星，是å«æµ´ç•Œçš„新星。他是领袖，是å«æµ´ç•Œçš„国王。他是一个超å‰å«çš„æµè¡Œåè¯ï¼Œæ˜¯å°†å¼•é¢†å«æµ´æ—¶å°šçš„åè¯ã€‚“城市让生活更美好，ä¹ä¼Šè®©å«æµ´æ›´èˆ’适â€ã€‚
Who is Roy?
It’s a big secret. He is a bright star, the bathroom world’s newest star. He is a leader, the king of the world’s bathrooms. He is the name of overwhelming fashion in hygiene, the name of the newest head turning fad in bathrooms. “City! Let our lives be better!” [“Better city, better life.”] “Roy! Let our bathrooms be comfortable!”